TRUMPED OUT - The White House Circus of 2025: A Horrifying Descent Into the Post-Truth Abyss

A Reality TV-Star Ate the Republic By Cyberluzie

May 29, 2025

PROLOGUE: THE CLOWNING OF AMERICA

Picture this: a failed steak salesman, a defunct university grifter, a serial golf cheat, a pageant collector, and a compulsive liar with a gold toilet fixation walk into a democracy — and stay. They are all the same man. Spray-tanned. Super-sized. Surrounded by sycophants.

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He hawks Bible verses he’s never read, sells NFTs like a crypto bro in a midlife crisis, and once tried to buy Greenland like it came with free shipping. He fakes Time covers, fakes crowd sizes, fakes empathy, and buries the truth under a mountain of merch and martyrdom.

This isn’t a satire. It’s a sequel.

Welcome to America, 2025.
Where lies are law, bling is back, and democracy is dangling from a thread, held by a man who wouldn’t lift a finger unless it pointed at someone to blame.

If you think this is governance, think again.
It’s a psycho-political campaign disguised as improv theatre.

Trump’s second act isn’t a return to the throne. It’s a hostile takeover of the concept of truth. His administration isn’t incompetent. It’s aggressively anti-competent — a regime built on viral bait and algorithmic distraction.

But there’s a new tool in the arsenal of absurdity, and it’s the one that should alarm us most: artificial intelligence.

The 2025 presidency is defined not just by authoritarian creep but by the AI-enabled hallucination of leadership.

Deepfaked press clips. AI-generated campaign ads. Edited footage passed off as real-time events.
The president no longer needs to show up — his digital double does it for him.
What we’re watching isn’t leadership. It’s post-production.

When he’s not golfing, he’s watching TV — or calling Putin for favours that never arrive.
And when caught pushing lies, he doesn’t blink.

Like the MS-13 tattoo he claimed was in a photo — only it wasn’t.
A badly photoshopped smear, corrected by an ABC reporter. Trump responded the only way he knows how: He picked a fight with reality.

This is not harmless clownery.
These aren’t just weird internet jokes. They are the front-facing mask of a regime that uses illusion to distract from erosion.

Behind every doctored clip lies a policy being rushed through with little to no oversight.
Behind every absurd photo-op is a habeas corpus hearing happening in secret.

The AI presidency isn’t coming.
It’s already here, and the scariest part is how normalised it’s become.

We’re laughing at the clown, not realising he’s rearranging the courtroom behind us.

ACT I: KRISTI NOEM AND THE GLAMORIZATION OF STATE VIOLENCE

Kristi Noem, now Trump’s Secretary of Homeland Security, is more than a walking mascara ad for carceral cosplay. She’s a former South Dakota governor with a long résumé of gun-pose politics, COVID denialism, and disturbingly enthusiastic support for surveillance. Her rise in Trump’s inner circle was inevitable: photogenic, cruel, and already willing to kill. And we mean literally.

In her memoir, Noem admitted to shooting her 14-month-old puppy, Cricket, for being "untrainable"—a euphemism that apparently includes acting like a dog—and then putting down a goat she didn’t like shortly after. Her justification? Ranch life. The tough life. The subtext? Emotion is weakness. Optics matter. Compassion is off-brand.

Her aesthetic strategy is a brutalist blend of Marlboro ad and Mad Max fashion. In public appearances, she wears tactical chic: blazers with just enough shoulder structure to suggest authority, and makeup so immaculately set it could survive a tear gas attack. Her skincare routine? Industrial-strength concealer, ego, and a light morning mist of weaponised nationalism.

Now, she poses in front of rows of incarcerated men, swept up in "Operation Patriot Purge," Trump’s broad, legally dubious crackdown on dissidents, immigrants, and public school librarians. Her face is perfectly contoured; her expression calibrated just enough to whisper, "I care, but not too much.”

The El Salvador prison shoot is Noem in full bloom: cruelty marketed as competence. Fox & Friends called her look "Guantanamo Glam." MAGA Twitter dubbed her #GulagBarbie. And the regime couldn’t be happier. This is Instagrammable governance. The optics are clear: the cages are props, the detainees are extras, and the glam is the message.

But behind the glamour lies a more troubling reality. During a Senate hearing, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem mischaracterised habeas corpus, describing it as a presidential right to deport individuals—a fundamental misunderstanding of this constitutional safeguard against unlawful detention. Senator Maggie Hassan promptly corrected her, highlighting the gravity of such a misstatement.

This incident exemplifies a broader pattern within the administration: officials advocating for sweeping legal changes without a clear grasp of foundational principles. Governance is not a performance; it demands a deep understanding of the laws and institutions that uphold democracy. As history has shown, the erosion of constitutional rights often begins not with overt declarations, but with subtle misinterpretations and the gradual normalisation of ignorance.

ACT II: TRUMP’S GAZA AI PEACE™ VIDEO — DIPLOMACY BY DEEPFAKE

Picture this: a colossal golden statue of Donald Trump rises from the rubble of Gaza like a Bond villain monument to hubris. Palm trees sway digitally in the breeze. A beach club pulses with AI-generated dance music as Trump Tower Gaza—yes, in shimmering gold—casts its shadow over flattened neighbourhoods. Jesus and Netanyahu exchange bro-coded grins. Children in pixelated MAGA hats throw up peace signs.

Welcome to peace, Trump-style.

This AI-generated “vision” for Gaza was unveiled on Truth Social like a trailer for a dystopian video game expansion pack. According to the Trump regime, it’s a masterstroke of “visionary leadership.” According to anyone with functioning empathy, it’s stomach-turning.

Let’s ground this hallucination in reality: over 56,000 Palestinians have died since Israel began its military offensive in late 2023. More than 20,000 of them were children. Entire neighbourhoods have been levelled. Hospitals bombed. Aid blocked. Electricity cut. Water restricted. Gaza, once a densely populated urban strip, is now a moonscape. The International Court of Justice has opened proceedings on potential genocide.

And while the world watches in horror, Trump’s response is to mold himself into a beachfront messiah.

The Gaza AI Peace™ video isn’t a policy. It’s narcissism rendered in 4K. It’s foreign relations as self-insert fan fiction. There’s no mention of ceasefires, casualties, or diplomacy. Just skyscrapers, casinos, and Ivanka-branded hummus stands. The real message? Genocide can be rebranded if the filters are good enough.

The soundtrack is equally surreal—an off-brand Call of Duty theme swells as digital F-16s fly overhead in synchronised patterns, spelling “TRUMP WINS” in the clouds.

And just when you think it can’t get worse, there is Elon Musk!

The video is more than tasteless. It’s strategic obfuscation. The Trump regime is using AI to fabricate legitimacy, distract from atrocity, and overwrite reality itself. By the time the truth catches up, it’s been out-shared, out-laughed, and out-algorithmed.

This is reality displacement in its purest form. We are watching real suffering be erased by digital spectacle, war crimes overwritten with resort brochures.

The illusion is loud. The silence around accountability is deafening.

ACT III: THE SOUNDTRACK OF AUTOCRACY — TRUMP PLAYS JOURNEY, MAGA IS DELIGHTED

In another bizarre bid for attention, Trump released a video of himself miming "Don’t Stop Believin'" on a fake gold piano while footage of riot police played in the background. The message? America rocks. You don’t.

The footage was reportedly produced as part of a morale campaign tied to Trump’s "Spirit of the Union" week—a surreal nationwide programming stunt that combined military parades, TikTok dance challenges, and synchronised MAGA flash mobs. The White House described the video as “inspiring” and “a testament to leadership through art.

Donny as a Popstar

It’s all deeply symbolic. The piano isn’t plugged in. Neither is the democracy.

Was it a cry for attention? Obviously. Was it a delusional attempt to rebrand himself as a pop icon? Almost certainly. But more than anything, it was an exercise in political misdirection.

Every pixel of the performance was engineered to drag eyeballs away from the real news: another wave of federal indictments, congressional subpoenas ignored, and a quiet new bill expanding executive immunity during “national morale initiatives.”

This is Trump’s performance state: all glitz, zero governance. Every off-key note is another moment you’re not talking about indictments, legislation, or war crimes. It’s the national anthem of the spectacle state.

ACT IV: THE POPE OF PATRIOTISM — TRUMP AS A THEOCRATIC INFLUENCER

An AI image of Trump in papal robes went viral last week, but instead of praying hands and a peaceful smile, we see a pointing finger — the pose of the person who judges — and his look is stern. The regime calls it fun. The followers call it the gospel.

The image, rendered possibly by MyPillow’s HallucinateRight™ AI generator, was pushed by the White House during what used to be the Novendiale. The Catholics amongst us might remember. Technically, it’s only a 9-day period, but hey, who’s counting?

But who thought there would be a protest, an uproar? Far from it. The AI version of Donny as Pope gained millions of likes, retweets, and comments. Yep, here he is again! And this time, self-anointed.

This isn’t a nod to Catholic tradition — it’s an insult in pixels.

In Catholic doctrine, the Pope is considered the earthly representative of God. Trump, by contrast, is the earthly representative of online coupon codes, adultery, and boldfaced lies, including an insurrection attempt. Theologically speaking, he’s a walking heresy with a golf cart.

If Trump could buy his way into the papacy, he would. If he could bribe a conclave, he’d do it with gold-plated Bibles.

But even in the twisted tapestry of Vatican politics — one of the oldest patriarchal powerhouses in the world — there’s no entry fee big enough for the orange wrecking ball of American idolatry. Not even the College of Cardinals is dumb enough to canonise a man whose last known miracle was avoiding jail via mistrial.

This is American theocracy rebranded as luxury cosplay. It’s not about religion. It’s about replacing God with a golf club.

Trump-as-Pope is a meme, but it’s also a message: worship not the divine, but the delusion. This is divine right as curated content.

And the reader will pay the price.

ACT V: MELANIA'S CRYPTO-COMPASSION — BLOCKCHAIN FOR THE BROKEN

Melania Trump, America’s most disengaged Stepford wife, has found her post-White House calling: monetising melancholy.

Her NFT, which celebrated its debut at Christmas, “Melania’s Vision,” is a cobalt watercolour portrait of her eyes — the windows to a soul set to “Do Not Disturb.” It includes an audio message whispering an unironic “message of hope,” as if that hope weren’t already minted on the Solana blockchain and sold for $150 a pop.

The proceeds allegedly support foster youth through tech education, though no public record shows any blockchain literacy classes taught by Melania or her signature pout.

This wasn’t a one-time grift. In a move that screams both Christmas and capitalism, Melania launched the “POTUS TRUMP NFT Collection” on Presidents’ Day in 2022. Ten thousand NFTs — each a mystery box of White House nostalgia — were sold for $50 apiece. Moments memorialised include Trump gesturing vaguely at Mount Rushmore and pretending to enjoy Christmas trees.

Buyers wouldn’t know which image they’d receive until after purchasing, like fascist Pokémon cards.

Gotta catch ’em all — especially if you're nostalgic for authoritarian photo ops.

But wait, there’s also jewellery! For Mother’s Day 2024, Melania unveiled a $245 gold vermeil pendant with an NFT chaser. It’s the most expensive attempt to say “I love you, Mom” without using your real voice.

Naturally, this coincided with Trump's skyrocketing legal fees, suggesting that “Be Best” now stands for “Bail Expenses Supplied Timely.”

All of this is done with the straight face of a woman who once wore a €39 Zara jacket reading “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” during a trip to a migrant child detention centre. Now, she offers that indifference in .jpeg format, bundled in elegance, and gift-wrapped in irony.

This is how empathy dies in the digital age — not with a bang, but with a blockchain transaction.

The real tragedy isn’t the greed. It’s the ease with which we turn compassion into collectables, pain into portfolio diversifiers. Melania doesn’t sell solutions. She sells sentimental artefacts of moral rot. And in the shadow of collapsing institutions, where democracy once stood, the NFTs hang like haunted ornaments on a dying tree.

ACT VI: GILDED GRIFTER GEAR — COLLECTIBLE TYRANNY, NOW WITH BLOCKCHAIN

Donald Trump also released a set of Dictator Day One trading cards. Trump as Caesar, as Kim Jong-Un, as Mussolini on vacation. Each card unlocks a "patriotic task" like calling in a suspiciously liberal librarian or reporting your neighbour’s protest sign.

And of course, there's a blockchain-integrated trading platform — TrumpCollect™ — where fans can bid, trade, and even “level up” their fascist memorabilia to unlock new digital privileges like a verified status on Truth Social or a seat at the next Freedom Rally Pizza Buffet.

Each card comes with an embedded QR code that leads to exclusive content: AI-generated reenactments of historical atrocities, this time with Trump photoshopped in as the hero. Want “SUPERTRUMP”? It’s there. “Trump Fires Lincoln”? Coming soon.

The press release touts them as “a way for young Americans to reconnect with patriotic archetypes” — a euphemism for packaging autocracy like a retro toy line.

Fascism isn’t storming the gates. It’s being shipped in glossy shrink wrap.

But let’s not forget the ultimate ultra-rare unlock: the scam behind the sparkle.

Trump’s crypto empire — yes, the one where the sitting president pulls in a cool billion dollars a month through a meme coin with no utility — lurks beneath the glint of every collector card. According to reports, small traders are being absolutely obliterated by transaction fees while TrumpCoin hoovers cash from their pockets like an ethical black hole in a MAGA hat.

It’s the kind of pump-and-dump scheme that would be laughed out of a Reddit thread — if it weren’t being lauded from the Rose Garden.

The cards aren’t just dumb — they’re profitable for him.

TrumpCollect™ is a loyalty test disguised as fandom, a pyramid scheme with historic cosplay, and a way to make sure your delusion of choice comes with a payment plan.

Pay-to-play, literally.

If Pokémon were invented by Mussolini’s brand manager and monetised by Elon Musk, this would be the result.

EPILOGUE: THE EXIT ISN'T FREE

The genius of the 2025 regime isn’t its brutality — it’s its absurdity. It doesn’t ban ideas — it buries them beneath emoji reactions and algorithmic sludge. It doesn’t silence dissent — it drowns it in memes, filters, and the dopamine hit of constant distraction.

What once passed as politics is now a stream of synthetic spectacle.

The president posts AI clips of himself riding dinosaurs while congressional subpoenas go unanswered. Protesters are swept off the streets while TrumpCoin hits a new high.

The line between parody and policy no longer exists — because the parody won.

This is the new authoritarianism.

It doesn’t knock — it refreshes. It scrolls. It loops endlessly. It shows up dressed as satire and walks away with your civil liberties. It doesn’t need boots on the ground. It has terms of service and an autoplay setting.

The consequences aren’t abstract — they’re already here.

Elections are influencer-brand rollouts. Oversight is a livestream circus. Law is decided not by precedent, but by trending soundbites. Truth is a lagging metric. And democracy? It’s a punchline in a TikTok challenge.

This isn’t just a threat to democracy — it’s its posthumous remix.

Because when truth dies, democracy doesn’t collapse in solemn silence. It dies to an auto-tuned loop. One synthetic clip at a time. One re-rendered leader at a time. One scroll too late.

And reality? Reality’s been replaced. With a stream of beautifully edited lies. With sentiment engineered for engagement. With stories so polished they slip past resistance and straight into belief.

So go ahead. Laugh. Retweet. Buy the NFT.

But remember: the price of entry was your attention.

And the exit? That’s your freedom.

And it’s already on fire.